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Reynolds Rap

Reynolds Rap

Staff Report  /  February 16, 2012  /  Views: 59  /   No Comments

The night before Valentine's Day, millions of men will congregate in store aisles, all desperate to find a card. I would like to tell you I will not join the fray, but I will. Men are good at forgetting the days important to women - Valentine's Day, birthdays, and anniversaries. I got them all, right?

Man was not designed to remember the special occasions embraced by women. It is not in our DNA. Lay the blame on God; these days, He gets the blame for everything that goes wrong. Well, not exactly; a lot of football fans credit God with helping Denver Broncos' quarterback, Tim Tebow, stage miraculous comebacks in the fourth quarter.

Most men hope God will help them find a Valentine's Day card. Though the Almighty has a great sense of humor, He will not - or so it seems - intervene. There is, however, one category of men - older men - who, while chastised for their forgetfulness, find a slender bit of forgiveness from the women they love. The passage of decades instills in women the understanding men forget those things they are supposed to remember.

Women never forget. They are biologically programmed not to let the least thing pass unnoticed. When a woman gets mad, she has the unique ability to remember things her man did, or said, decades before. An example being necessary: recently, my wife lost her temper during the course of a heated argument over garbage.

"At 4:15 p.m., Monday, March 21, 1972, you promised to take out the garbage, but you didn't!" she said. When I denied committing what she regarded as the dastardly deed, she went into third gear.

Still, man will not forget Christmas. He loves to get things - in particular, power tools, golf clubs, guns, DVDs (preferably violent), electronic gadgets (iPads, etc.), memberships in the NRA, and subscriptions to sports and hunting magazines.

Man will not forget the night he plays cards. He will remember his beer (assuming, he drinks beer). The dates, times, and channels for football, basketball, golf, or baseball games will not go unnoticed. These are some of the things man was biologically designed to do. It stems, I think, from the distant past when he was hunting mammoths, gathering around the camp fire bragging about his courage, or, wondering why a square wheel does not work.

Ancient man did not need to know how to build a doghouse. They lived in caves.

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